Hear Me and Know Me

Author’s Note:
Sometimes people ask me to write more positively or to read more of my positive poems. It’s okay to want more positive things in your life, but my poems are my space to write authentically about my life.

You may find space in my poems for yourself too, but it’s not my goal to write what makes others comfortable. I write for myself and to spread awareness—and to show others like me that they’re not alone.

I’ve been asked to write more positively—
I’ve been told you prefer my positive poems.
I can’t promise you positive poems—
It’s not who I am.

I found poetry,
And it changed my life.
I found things I had lost or maybe had never known at all—
Pride, accomplishment, want,
self-love, self-care, self-worth—
I found myself,
And I’ve been missing for a long time.

It would be disingenuous to write what I am not.
Poetry gives me an outlet to express the pain I’ve experienced in life—
Whether through anecdotes or metaphors—
And I think I might actually be pretty good at it.

I don’t owe comfort.
My life—isn’t comfortable.

I can’t promise you positive,
And maybe, I’d ask you—what is positive to you?
My truth—is positive, to me.

I can’t promise you your definition of positive—
I can promise you—
My truth and authenticity.

I’ve been told my strength is in my honesty,
But honestly,
What would you like me to say?
What mask is better fit?
What act should I perform?